The Strength We Have
I received a question via e-mail this week, and I'm responding to it in my blog because I believe many people can relate to this person's experiences. She writes:
“For so long I have felt fractured. Won't go into detail but - childhood trauma and abuse which led to poor decision making which led to more trauma and abuse. Have done some meditation and self healing but as of late I am feeling "separated" from myself. My husband will soon be undergoing heart valve replacement surgery and I need to be strong for him and our family. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. A stone with a strong grounding vibration.”
My response to her is as follows:
You started life in this world by experiencing some of the ugliest attributes of our fellow man. You have witnessed and have experienced that terrible things can befall the innocent, no matter who you are. Many judgmental people say that bad things happen to bad people. You will hear other people use karma as a justification for bad things happening to others. I, on the other hand, will ask what has a child done so wrong that they should be afflicted with viciousness from another? How is it that a child can be abused by the very people who are supposed to protect and guide him or her?
The fact is that people do terrible things to each other. Whether or not the victim has committed wrong, bad things still happen.
Many who are abused or have suffered indignities and inequities will scream into the sky and ask “God, what have I done to deserve this?!”. Perhaps we should ask ourselves instead: “How is it, in spite of what has happened to me, I have survived it? Perhaps I should be looking at the truth and bear witness to the fact that I am here; and that no matter what has happened to me, I am greater than those events, even as I wonder if I can push through another day.”
This is the truth: you need to look from whence you have come and what you have overcome in your life, for it is there we will see the evidence that we are capable of holding ourselves together. We do not need to seek greater strength, as the evidence shows that we are already strong.
We may be tired and dream of a life without pain, but no matter who we are – whether we have been abused, lived a fairytale childhood, if we are rich or poor – all of us must face the realities of life.
We must bear witness within ourselves of what we have experienced in life, and through observing that life, accept that we are indeed greater than the pain. For if we were not, we would no longer exist. You have survived your past, now you need to let go of the “whys”. Accept that we can ponder the reasons until the end of time, and come up with a different answer every time, and never find closure.
As humans, we search for these answers, but rarely do we acknowledge the reality that we have survived. In your case, you have not only survived, but it sounds like you are still seeking to make your life better. Meditation, for instance, doesn’t guarantee that your life will come up roses, but it can help you find peace (even if just for a moment); it can also help you release the pain of yesteryear and have faith that you have been made right.
Just as you have survived your past through meditation, you may also start realizing that you are greater than you have allowed yourself to believe.
When it comes to your husband’s upcoming surgery, of course there is reason for concern, but it is not as it was pre-1950's. This form of surgery is now routine and conducted with a great deal of success, with the odds very good in your husband’s favor. So, have faith that all will go well. I know you are afraid to do that because you want to prepare yourself, just in case it doesn’t. It is difficult emotionally and spiritually, but you will get through it and find greater peace within yourself.
As far as the sensation of separation you speak of, this is very common amongst people who meditate and go through different stages of evolution within themselves. As old burdens and attributes of self fall away, we often feel as though something is missing. The reality is this: you are now more capable of feeling the beauty within yourself, as you have simply not practiced allowing yourself to feel the beauty of today.
In your case, practicing feeling the gentle moments in life may assist you in feeling whole.
Regarding my recommendation for a mineral that provides excellent grounding energy: I have mentioned in the past that hematite, especially a 5-pound piece or larger, can serve very well to ground the energy around you. To assist you in creating a frequency of well-being and tranquility, may I suggest dendrite agate, as its frequency is very calming. Placing your feet on a chunk of hematite for grounding while holding a piece of dendrite agate for calmness and tranquility should assist you.
I hope my answer is beneficial to the question writer and all other readers of this blog who may be going through similar difficulties in life. My advice here is given in general, and it's impossible for me to have a full understanding of what you are going through.
I do offer personal healing appointments which allow me to be more specific. Be at peace.